Dan: Ah, the internet. That collection of stories you can find online range from fantasy to science fiction to romance to horror. These two metaphysical beings are the most famous creepypasta characters, haunting people without end.

Lacie: Herobrine Persson, the ghost brother of Notch.

Dan: And the Slender Man, the pale king.

Lacie: I'm Lacie and that's Dan-

Dan: Hello.

Lacie: And it's our job to examine the weaponry, defenses, and skills to find out which of these creepy ghosts would win...

a DEATH BATTLE!

SLENDER MAN:

Dan: The Slender Man’s origins are completely unknown. Fans have theorized that he came about in ancient times, but the only proof is that Victor Surge uploaded a Slender Man picture to a SomethingAwful thread in 2006.

Lacie: SomethingAwful? Can you be any more descriptive?

Dan: Not really, that’s the name of the site.

Lacie: Oh.

Dan: In that time, he has morphed into a nightmarish foe with nearly unlimited power, and a large set of powers.

Lacie: He can teleport-

Dan: Slenderwalking.

Lacie: Mess with your mind-

Dan: Mental Manipulation.

Lacie: And can even ignite fires with his mind!

It's called pyrokinesis, and it goes much more than that. He can burn down an entire forest, and even burn through a solid steel chassis like a star-quite the feat!

Lacie: Anyway, his mental abilities in particular are pretty cray-cray.

Dan: Cray-cray?

Lacie: Yes. He can burn through your mind just by making eye contact, and his very presence is draining on the mind.

Dan: His power is so great that he can even create minions from normal people, called Proxies. Even with that, however, he is no slouch in close combat.

Lacie: He’s got teleportation! And tentacles!

Dan: Tendrils. Slendy’s teleportation, really slenderwalking, is based around using the Path of Black Leaves to travel. He can teleport silently in the blink of an eye, and can even teleport right behind you.

Lacie: Oh god it’s right there

Dan: Slender Man has a lot of abilities beyond those, including but not limited to:

-Selective Visibility, so those he isn’t targeting cannot see him.

-Disguise, where he imitates a person to a very close degree to get close to the victim.

-The Sickness, which depending on allocated power can range from nosebleeds to amnesia to vomiting to aches and pains to even symptoms to radioactive poisoning!

Dan: Slender Man is a ruthless hunter, one capable of direct murder but stalks and scares its prey-people-into submission. He’s an unstoppable force, turning from a scare in the background into a godlike creature capable of massive feats, like putting an entire village under his control, killing an entire squad of marines, taking bullets, and more interestingly pretty much spawning the creepypasta genre.

Lacie: He’s scary, man.

"My child, my Lars… he is gone. Taken, from his bed. The only thing that we found was a scrap of black clothing. It feels like cotton, but it is softer… thicker.
Lars came into my bedroom yesterday, screaming at the top of his lungs that "The angel is outside!" I asked him what he was talking about, and he told me some nonsense fairy story about Der Großmann. He said he went into the groves by our village and found one of my cows dead, hanging from a tree.
I thought nothing of it at first…But now, he is gone. We must find Lars, and my family must leave before we are killed. I am sorry my son…I should have listened. May God forgive me."

HEROBRINE PERSSON:
Dan: Herobrine is the brother of Notch, creator of Minecraft-

Lacie: I love that game! Steve’s so cute…

Dan: …
Anyway, Herobrine is no longer with Notch and now haunts the world of Minecraft with malevolent intent. He typically builds sandstone pyramids, long 2x2 tunnels, and places redstone torches around.

Lacie: Plus, he can shave trees. STOP THE TREE ABUSE! It’s terrible!

Dan: Not only that, but Herobrine wields both a Diamond Pickaxe and Diamond Sword. Multiple times stronger than iron, diamond is a very strong material in Minecraft and an effective tool.

Lacie: That’s not all at all! He has multiple supernatural abilities-he can teleport people to him and him to people, control chickens to attack people, and can even call down bolts of lightning!

Dan: And, of course, he can create fires and throw down TNT. He is based on Slender Man, after all.

Lacie: Really?

Dan: No eyes, pyrokinesis, teleportation…

Lacie: Fine, whatever. Herobrine is a powerful foe for any Minecrafter, and the strongest foe in Minecraft. His meme status has brought about new powers for him, and his legacy spreads further every day.

Dan: Wait, if he has no eyes, how does he see?

Lacie: ...

Ghost!

(Notch: “I did, but he is no longer with us.”)

Now, let’s find out who would win a fight to the death between Slender Man and Herobrine! Will Slender Man’s arsenal of powers and insanity-inducing essence win it out, or will Herobrine’s lightning and sword strike the final blow? It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

My name is Marissa. Age 17, I just got a call ~15 minutes ago about my friend Lisa, who was trapped without electricity in the forest on vacation. I had to abandon my Minecraft session (Geek pride!), but I’m a good person so I did it. About 5 minutes away from the forest entrance, my car broke down from something going wrong. Yeah, I know English
-
I had to walk through the forest’s paths, but I was on edge the whole time. It felt like that game Slender, where you have to find eight pages. Anyway, I eventually found Lisa’s house, and called out to her.

“LISA! Where you at? I got your call, it’s Marissa, where are you?” I yelled, but I got no response. Walking into the cottage, I noticed everything was on the floor and disorganized. The windows were barred, and a lot of papers were spread out. Some of them were drawings, a faceless guy in a suit with a ton of tentacles from his body. Her MP3 player was on the floor, screen cracked but a song was readable-

Slender Man Song
-
I listened to it for a little bit, and remembered something. Lisa was an only child, but the drawings had marks on them not unlike what a 5 year old would make, but Lisa didn’t like kids and was an only child. Only a little kid or an insane person could make these-

Oh my god.

I immediately turned around, and the song started to distort and break down. I ripped the earbuds out of my ears, and trudged out of the door. The mist of the forest set the setting perfectly, with the time being roughly 7:50 it was starting to become dark. Suddenly, I heard a noise behind me.

“Marissa…

I’m scared…

Save me!”

I turned around immediately, and was greeted by a suited man. Letting out a shriek of sheer terror, I looked up and was greeted by the Slender Man’s cruel faceless face.
I was terrified then. Now, I am glad I can serve a physical god.
______________________
The Slender Man was slightly agitated. This forest, the Misted Forest, was devoid of most life and was his most usual place of rest and thought. His thoughts had turned these two girls into Proxies, and to dispose of the rest he would need to burn down the cottage of cotton and wood. Someone might take notice, but no matter.

He owned this forest since Victor Surge spawned his idea.

In the midst of the controlled blaze, a bolt of lightning struck the center of the cottage, exploding it and sending the debris everywhere. Not that it mattered, a quick glance and the fire put itself out. But what was the cause of lightning? It was certainly not the normal lightning, as the day was passing and no clouds shined down. Then, a bolt struck the Slender Man himself. Recoiling, he realized this was a new idea. He had never been attacked by electricity before, at least not a lightning bolt. Then, he saw the cause.

His newest foe, Herobrine Persson.

Quickly thinking, he walked into the depths of fog and turned his visibility off. Teleporting back, Herobrine was confused and made a pulling motion, as if summoning him. Agreeing, Der Ritter teleported behind Herobrine and struck his four tendrils, intended to kill. They passed right through.

Herobrine turned quickly and drew his blade. Swinging it in the trademark slash, the blade got nowhere as Slender Man teleported behind him and made a mental motion. As if caught in a small star, the blade flew out of his hands and caught fire, not unlike that of Netherrack. Herobrine thought for a moment, and suddenly four chickens spawned into existence and tried to attack Slender Man.

Tried to, anyway. Immediately rushing to his aid with nearly superhuman speed, Marissa and Lisa ran at the chickens and starting beating on them with might unlike a sane man. Heads crushed, bodies torn apart, and all four chickens dead, the proxies were slightly injured but nothing too severe. Lisa locked eyes with Herobrine’s lacking of eyes and was teleported far away, a land known as the Nether. She would prove a problem eventually, but not now. However, in his schemes, Herobrine had forgotted about Marissa.

Jumping on the brother of Notch, Marissa clawed and bit with all of her might. However, Herobrine was not defenseless and struck her with a diamond pickaxe, impaling her through the brain and killing her body and mind, if not soul.

Herobrine looked at Slender Man, and smiled a short smile. Channeling his power into a bolt, he shot at the Slender Man with a bolt of lightning. More than anything he had faced ever before, Slendy was nearly overwhelmed by the blast. Herobrine prepared a second bolt, and at the same time Slender Man teleported out of Herobrine’s view. Holding the bolt steady, he was caught off guard by a sound of children’s giggling in the trees. Firing his bolt, the tree was broken in half and the giggling stopped. However, turning around, he was faced with a man his size staring into his eyes. With one final telepathic command, Herobrine’s will was overcome by the Slender Man’s. Recovering his blade and ignoring the burning, he plunged the blade into his chest. Herobrine fell on the floor in agony, his reign finally over and replaced by one more deadly than ever before. Der Grossman had come to Minecraftia.

K.O.!
Lacie: No! How did that happen?

Dan: Slender Man’s mental power is incredible. He has successfully bent the minds of a city, so there’s no reason to say the stare wouldn’t work on Herobrine.

Lacie: But the lightning bolt would kill Slendy!

Dan: Maybe. Slendy’s durability is hard to define, as he is truly a conceptual character and cannot die if you know what he is.

Lacie: Really?

Dan: Really. Though he couldn’t dodge, the lightning isn’t that strong in Minecraft and wouldn’t really lead to Slender Man’s death easily. Besides, Slender Man took down a squad of marines in Just Another Fool, so he obviously has skill in combat that Herobrine lacks. No attack has been seen to work on him, instead passing through his body.

Lacie: He's intangible? There goes the lightning.

Dan: Precisely. Herobrine lacks the direct means to kill-

Lacie: And as awesome chickens are, Proxies are much more physically capable and skilled. Herobrine’s minions were inferior, but it didn’t really matter as both are capable of killing or taking control of the other’s forces.

Dan: In the end, Slender Man is a monster. Herobrine is a ghost. Herobrine didn’t have the power mentally to resist the Slender Man, which you cannot fight Slendy without.

THE WINNER IS: SLENDER MAN