literature

Prelude: Sky vs. Honeydew

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Lacie: In the world of Minecraft, running with a sword is a very valid fighting tactic. These two have taken that to the extreme.

Young Samurai: Sky, the King of Butter.

Lacie: And Honeydew, the Dwarf of Khaz Modan. I'm Lacie and he's the Young Samurai, filling in for Dan, and it's our job to analyze each fighter's weapons, defenses, and skills to decide who would win...

Young Samurai: A DEATH BATTLE!

Honeydew:



Lacie: Simon Honeydew is the Dwarf of Khaz Modan, and the fighter and funny man of the Yogscast’s original duo.

Young Samurai: Partnered with Lewis, he’s one of the most famous YouTubers ever.

Lacie: One day, Lewis and Simon were both stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere. Over the course of… a long time, they settled down and tamed the world of Minecraftia.

Young Samurai: His primary tools are regular Minecraft weapons, mostly swords.

Lacie: Well, Simon’s arsenal is much more than a simple sword. His sword, Felicity II, is crafted from the ultra-strong Manyullyn.

Young Samurai: He also has a pickaxe, made from diamond, obsidian, and redstone. It’s only a pickaxe, though.

Lacie: It can carve through solid stone in short time; it’s not hard to see why it would kill.

Young Samurai: True.

Lacie: Simon also uses regular tools like TNT and Flint and Steel. He likes TNT a lot.

(Simon: "Let’s just do it the Yogscast way!" (Whilst placing a block of TNT next to something they are struggling to get past)

EQUIPMENT:
The Hole Digger
       Specially crafted from obsidian, diamond, and hast
       Can carve through solid stone in a very short time
Felicity II
       Specially crafted sword after Simon died working for the Space Program
       Made from the super-tough Manyullyn, strongest mineral in the game
Flint and Steel
       Lights fires on solid blocks, preferably wood and other flammables
TNT
       Crafted from sand and gunpowder
       Large detonation radius
       Ignited via Flint and Steel
Golden Armor
       Pants and a Hat
       Mediocre protection


Young Samurai: Simon also uses a lot of heavy weapons, like mechs, power armor, and more.

Lacie: ‘Heavy Weaponry’ almost doesn’t cover it. His Iron Dwarf suit is a powerhouse of power armor, with cannons, plating, and mobility that challenges anything that you can even think of.

Young Samurai: It’s kind of like Iron Man’s armor.

IRON DWARF ARMOR:
Power Armor
Uses hooks to maneuver around the battlefield, moves much faster than a normal human
Little to no fall damage due to dampeners
Many attached tools
       Railgun is a heavy and accurate weapon but drains a lot of power
       Plasma Cannon is a charge-shot with a lot of power (500 millicreepers)
       Blink Drive is reusable ender pearl-like teleportation
       Advanced Plating and an Energy Shield
Assists melee attacks
Night Vision
Jetpack, to some extent
Allows for faster movement, and faster swimming


Lacie: Oh, and he has a mech. A MECH!

Young Samurai: It has cannons, and excavation tools. It’s also surprisingly agile.

GYPSY KISS:
Honeydew’s personal mecha
Two slots for tools or weapons
       Drill and Saw for excavation
       W1200 Shotgun
       Desert Eagle
       RPG-7
       Machine Gun
Swifter than a human
Very durable
Can swim and work underwater with ease


Lacie: Oh yeah, and he has a flying ring that uses redstone for fuel and a giant instant-death sword called Big Bertha, but whatever.

Young Samurai: Instant death sword?

Lacie: The only thing it hasn’t killed in one shot is Kaiju.

Young Samurai: Oh, wow!

(Simon: "It's like a whole new game.")

HEAVY EQUIPMENT:
Flying Ring
Gypsy Kiss
Iron Dwarf Armor
S.S. Longbucket
Big Bertha


Lacie: Honeydew’s not human, also. (He’s a dwarf) Simon has superhuman traits, unlike most normal Minecraft characters.

(Lewis: "Ye be dwarfin' it up!")

Young Samurai: Keep in mind the average Minecrafter can bust apart stone with his hand, and can leap over a meter in a sprint.

Lacie: He’s as strong as a moose, or even meese!

Young Samurai: That’s not the right plural version.

Lacie:  You’re the Sky expert, not a moose-ologist!

SKILLS AND ABILITIES:
Advanced Exoskeleton
       3x strength and advanced swimming
Soul Absorption
       Can absorb the souls of those he has killed
       Currently has the form of a fry cook, Yoglab scientist, and a Hammy Hamster
Has the strength of a moose
Very good and experienced in digging holes
       Trapped a Weeping Angel underneath his floor


Young Samurai: Honeydew has a great range of feats, like taking back Yoglabs, placing okay in general in PvP matches, and battling Israphel.

(Simon: "So, now we have a shitty wooden sword, and we're going to defend this property, right? From my cold dead hands, you skeletal motherfuckers!")

Lacie: He also founded a corporation, Honeydew Inc.

FEATS:
Battled Israphel
Unearthed a Yoglabs conspiracy
Founded Honeydew Inc.
Places well in PvP matches
Got through a 241 puzzle map
Survived a triple dose of mushrooms
Took back Yoglabs by force


Young Samurai: He also has weaknesses. Honeydew usually achieves his goals with Lewis, for one.

Lacie: He’s also kind of an idiot. His only qualification for working at Yoglabs is, and I quote, ‘Diggy Diggy Hole’.

(Simon: "When I grow up I want to be a potato."')

WEAKNESSES:
Not terribly intelligent
Prefers using one weapon at a time
Quite a few feats were accomplished with Lewis’s help


Young Samurai: Sky’s got this in the bag.

Lacie: I beg your pardon? Simon’s the Skylord!

(Simon: "I'm a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole! I'm digging a hole!")

SKY:



Lacie: Sky, in real life named Adam, is the leader of Team Crafted and the most majestic YouTuber ever!

YoungSamurai: And he wields one of the most majestic materials in Minecraft, BUTTER!!!!!

Lacie: Insane fandom aside, one day Sky found himself in a Minecraft world. He mined, and crafted, and played games until he found, well, Butter and a lifestyle in Team Crafted. He even found a foe, in the form of the Squids…

YoungSamurai: Sky's accomplished a lot in his time in Minecraft, surviving several rounds of Hunger Games against his fellow Team Crafted teammates and escaping prison, multiple times!!!!

Lacie: I mean, he even fought Herobrine, and that Ghost is no small challenge. And what does he fight his battles with, Young Samurai?

YoungSamurai: Well, at base level, he wears a full suit of budder armor and wields a budder sword, TNT, and a bow and arrow. Though that's not all he has.

EQUIPMENT:
Budder Sword
       Made of majestic Budder, better than diamond
Bow & Arrow
       Fires normal arrows, just a normal distance weapon
Budder Armor
       Better than diamond
       Full set of Budder armor
TNT
       Crafted from sand and gunpowder
       Large blast radius
Bricks
       Thrown weapons
       Can break glass and hurt people like any other brick
       Ignites TNT


Lacie: Oh, not by a long shot. Did you know, for instance, that he has access to Iron Man's Hulkbuster Armor? Did you know that he has a Lightsaber? Did you know he's both a Force-Sensitive and a Wizard? Sky has everything.

HEAVY EQUIPMENT:
Gravity Gun
       Moves objects around, though not a full human’s weight
Hulkbuster Armor
Mjolnir
       Thor's hammer
Superman's Suit
       Grants powers of Superman, to some extent
Batbombs
       Powerful high explosives used by Batman and Sky
Lightsaber
       Crafted from a diamond and various gems
       With the Force, jumps higher
Black Hole Bomb
       Sucks in everything around it
       Ignited like normal TNT
       Sucks in a ~16 block radius
Wand
       Expelliarmus, Stupify, Confringo, Lumos, Apparition, and Avada Kedavra
       Requires a charge-up time


YoungSamurai: Oh, I did. Oh, and remember Gordon Freeman? Well, Sky has his Gravity Gun!!!!

Lacie: By no means is Sky an expert with these. However, he's used them in the past, and given his loose canon and his opponent I think we can easily accept these as valid. What is skilled in though, is fighting.

Young Samurai: Hell, he was able to best his own friends in combat, and even was able to trick them so he could take them down.

FEATS:
Got through Bodil40’s Epic Jump Maps
Defeated Herobrine, twice
Won the Hunger Games on many occasion
Escaped from prison and school
Killed the Squid Overlord
Founder and leader of Team Crafted


Lacie: Sky prefers a 'screaming warrior' style, where he courageously charges into battle, though he will and does retreat if things are not going his way. However, he is very skilled with the sword. The thing is though, even though he's awesome, he does have a few flaws.

YoungSamurai: Yep, budder is not one Minecraft's materials, Hell, its durability is weaker than wood. Also, Sky seems to always run if things go south.

Lacie:  Still, though, Sky is a warrior that goes into battle with nothing to hide. He's almost unstoppable, even if his choice weaponry is subpar to... mostly everything.

WEAKNESSES:
Budder is not perfect
Somewhat of a coward in battle
Not terribly intelligent
Rarely uses heavy weapons


YoungSamurai: And if he is beaten, he always returns, more pissed than anything.

(Sky: (Looking at a doctor villager) Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
(Takes his pressure-plate table) I’m taking your table.)
YouTube's finest warriors face off! Simon Honeydew of the Yogscast matches wits and blade with SkyDoesMinecraft, of Team Crafted fame. Who will win this final showdown?
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kurthutch74's avatar
HONEYDEW!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU!