Prelude: Jeff the Killer vs. Jack the Ripper

Dan: Think to the night. In the darkness of the city, anyone and I do mean anyone can come and terrorize you. Men and demons fight alongside to pillage and mug.

Lacie: But don't think people are the good guys!

Dan: These two men have taken the dark side to life, and today will be pitting themselves to the death.

Lacie: Jeff the Killer, the teenage psychopath who put a knife to his family.

Dan: Jack the Ripper, Victorian England's prostitute killer, never found.

Lacie: I’m Lacie and he’s Dan, and it’s time to examine each fighter’s weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win….

A DEATH BATTLE!

JEFF THE KILLER:
First Appearance: Jeff the Killer Creepypasta (2008)
Name: Jeff
Age: ~16
Height: 5'8
Weight: 150 lbs
Occupation: Fugitive Murderer

Dan: Jeff the Killer is one of the most famous creepypasta killers in history, even though he’s just a kid.

Lacie: Once, he was a normal bullied kid. However, bullying escalated as it does, and one day Jeff was attacked and his face was scarred with fire, or something. Stories change.

Dan: His parents not understanding his new urge to kill, Jeff struck it out on his own…

Lacie: After killing both his tormentors and family.

Dan: Jeff is absolutely insane; his mind and body were both scarred, and he has no compassion or mercy at all. In fact, this insanity has given him superhuman strength.

Lacie: He can easily overpower grown men, and he’s a very good fighter. He outmatched fitter bullies, even before he was scarred.

SKILLS AND ABILITIES:
General insanity
-Obsessed with killing anyone who displeases him
Superhuman Combat Ability
-Unlocked an inner 'demon', a mental state that enhances focus and strength
-After his scarring, the 'demon' overtook his psyche
-In combat, moves and breaks body parts lightning fast to inflict as much pain as possible
Superhuman Strength
-Part of his 'demon psyche'
-Once punched through a man's ribcage and obliterated his heart in one punch

Dan: Even better, he’s armed and dangerous. Taking a knife from his kitchen, it is a deadly blade capable of cutting through celery just as well as his foes. Though, it is just a knife. Not too much to work with, there.

KNIFE:
Normal kitchen knife
Steel blade and plastic handle
Not trained with it, just an improvised weapon

Lacie: He physically outmatched many foes, managed to kill anyone who annoyed him, and has a legacy across the creepypasta world. Somehow, his superhuman strength and insanity put him on par with supernatural beings.

Dan: Granted, they are of.. questionable canonicity. Sure, he has fought the Slender Man on various occasions, but I can write a story where Jeff kicks the Hulk's ass. No dice.

FEATS:
Defeated a group of bullies solo
Survived being lit on fire with alcohol and bleach
Tracks down those who try to find him
Even held his own against several other Creepypasta monsters
-Slender Man (On more than one occasion)
-Jane the Killer
    *Basically, his 'good' archenemy

Dan: But, fortunately, he has some weaknesses. Gary Stu he may be, but Jeff could be outmatched by rational fighters who aren't scared of him. Jeff is basically a psychopath with a knife, and that doesn't mean he can go kill Batman. Cut the nonsense, and he isn't too hard to kill.

WEAKNESSES:
Doesn’t think rationally
Only weapon is a knife
No way to surpass human limits
Zero formal combat training, or any combat training beyond 'stab'

Lacie: Creepypasta’s aren’t meant to be beaten, Dan. Just go to sleep, and you’ll be fine…

(Jeff: "What's wrong mommy? Aren't I beautiful?”)

JACK THE RIPPER:
First Appearance: Murder of Mary Anne Nichols, 31 August 1888; Born 1865 in Poland
Name: Aaron Kosminski
Age: 26
Height: 5'5
Weight: ~135 lbs
Occupation: Hairdresser, Prostitute Killer, Extortionist

Dan: In the prostitute-ridden land of Whitechapel, England, the vices and sins of that world would soon lead to their own demise. Five prostitutes at least, were killed by an unknown man - dark hair, fair complexion, and a nice mustache.

Lacie: Leather Apron, as he was first dubbed, was a known man in that time, extorting money from the, ahem, lovely ladies for his own use. But, when the going got tough, Leather took it into his own hands.

Dan: Mary Anne Nichols was found dead on 31 August, 1888. Drunk, she walked around in the streets until she found the Ripper - who promptly slit her throat to the spine. This would be a common occurrence.

Lacie: That's the first one! Seriously, this guy has a problem with doing this stuff.

Dan: Jack would pull off four more murders, and and he was never found guilty, or indeed found.

Lacie: Never found, a brutal killer, and no known history…

Dan: Actually, incorrect. In September 2014, DNA testing proved that Jack is actually a Polish hairdresser named Aaron Kosminski. A poor Polish Jew, Aaron had a strong hatred of women and homicidal tendencies;

Lacie: He’s brutal. No doubt about it; you don’t get the name Ripper for nothing!

Dan: What you do get it for is eating half of a kidney and sending it to the police.

Lacie: See?

SKILLS AND PSYCHOLOGY:
Very skilled in stealth and evading detection
-Evaded the London police for his entire life, even after being
-Got away with murder
--Was later identified, but the witness did not testify against a fellow Jew
-Never apprehended by witnesses at the scene
Superhuman brutality
-Ate half of a person’s kidney
Hairdresser
Psychology
-Paranoid and generally considered insane
-Given as a long set of years of indulgences in solitary vices
-Hatred of women
-Homicidal tendencies
-Believed a higher power spoke to him
-Claimed to know movements of all mankind

Dan: He obviously doesn’t work with his hands.

Lacie: He uses a wooden and steel knife, used for cutting food. Razor-sharp, it can also cut up people.

KNIFE:
Small handle, large blade
Sharp on both sides
Very sharp blade
Used with incredible precision

Dan: You don’t become famous for nothing. Jack murdered at least five, possibly more people and was never caught for these crimes.

Lacie: He is the most famous serial killer of all, and that proves something.

FEATS:
Killed 5 people
Was never caught
The most famous serial killer of all time

Dan: Prove something it does, but it doesn’t prove Jack is immortal. He’s a clever and brutal man, but a man nonetheless.

Lacie: Even including the recent uncovering, that doesn't help Jack a lot. At all - in fact, it probably hurt him. Aaron's insanity has destroyed him, giving him intense hallucinations and amnesia.

Dan: That's a pretty bad weakness. Jeff's only downside is violence - Jack? Tripping on LSD.

WEAKNESSES:
Just a normal man
Insanity has destroyed his mind, not allowing him knowledge of his name or age
Hallucinations of sight and sound

Lacie: But hey, he's still a sketchy-ass fighter that you don't want on you in a dark alley.

Dan: This is why you stay out of London. At all costs.

(Jack: “The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn't you.”)

So there you go! A meme killer faces his match in a genius killer of our own world! Can real life actually beat fiction? All will know, just go to sleep...